Uncontollable monster My version of Breaking Dawn
by sparkliz321
Summary: Bella is turned into a vampire, is it the life it is cut up to be? Will she still be the same Bella? Will Edward still love her? or will Edward leave her?
1. Chapter 1

I sat there waiting for the pain to come, but it didn't. I opened my eyes but I couldn't see. As I gradually adjusted to the light, I saw a sparkle in the distance. My eyes were open then. The sparkle was beautiful and small; I wanted to hold it between my hands. I blinked once and then it came charging towards me, it got brighter and brighter so bright I had to shield my eyes. It was me. The beautiful, glowing figure standing in front of me was me. I was so beautiful and graceful. I stared at the girl, well me, and I suddenly started giggling. The girl looked stunned and she turned away. "Wait come back" I yelled. It didn't seem to faze her she pivoted on her foot and walked way, the dream stopped when I started hearing voices and the light started to surround me.

"Bella, Bella my love wake up" the velvet voice of my angel, slowly I opened my eyes he was laying next to me. I exhaled and I saw him flinch.

"Edward" I said my voice was raspy, my throat was dry. "Oh Edward, I just had the greatest dre-"I stopped in the middle of the sentence, a stabbing pain ran through me, I felt like I was on fire or a million needle stabbed all over me. I looked toward Edward, his face was smothered with worry, and I wanted to see him smile. "What's wrong with me?" I hissed between the screams of pain. He looked away ashamed of what he was about to say.

"Bella..." he stopped to brush a lock of my hair out of my face. "I _bit _you" He said 'bit' harshly and I could see the sadness in his eyes. "I had to love, the Volturi and they came, they were going to kill you and-"He stopped again, I had interrupted him with my loud screams. I reached out for his hand and I found him, his hand was so cold. It felt soothing and calming. I snuggled closer towards him and I crashed my body towards his and rubbed my steaming skin against him. It was so cold, my mind started to clear.

"Oh I am so sorry, I didn't mean to" I said pulling away from him physical contact had always been a minimum and all since he was a vampire. That's when it hit me. Me .A. Vampire. I would become the girl in my dream, radiant and stunning.

"Carlisle, she's awake" Edward called down the stairs. Carlisle came through the door gracefully and sat down next to me on the bed. He grabbed my hand and checked my pulse.

"She's getting colder, it almost over Bella" he said. He continued to hold my hand and he prepared a needle to put into my arm, I thought I was morphine and I was right. The burning subsided and I quickly went into a deep dreamless sleep.

I slowly woke up and I could feel the pain no more. It had disappeared and I was now a fully newborn vampire, Edward sat next to me reading Withering Heights. He looked up from his book and smiled. It was a kind smile, not happy but kind. He grabbed my hand and put it up to his face. He flinched. It surprised me; I had never seen him flinch from my touch. "Sorry, I was expecting your warmth" he said as he leaned in and kissed me, softly at first then it became more passionate. This time it wasn't me to lose control. I stopped and broke the kiss off for once. He looked up at me surprised.

"Edward am I?" I asked, he nodded and moved back to my lips. He was more caution and gentle.

"I've been waiting 3 days to do that" he said pulling away, putting back his book. He turned to me and played with my hair, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing" I answered. This is what I want, but inside me I could feel the thirst the monster. "Edward what happened?"

He didn't answer for a while but I could see the concentration on his face, like he was trying to find the right words. "The Volturi and everything... it just, it just happened so fast I'm so sorry Bella, my little Bella" he started to sob; I had never in the 3 years I've known him. I pulled him towards me and rubbed his back the way he did for me. I then started sobbing then he was the one pulling me towards him comforting me. I sniffed and I wished I didn't, I gush of smells came towards me. They were sweet, they were sour and they were bitter. All wonderful. I ran towards the door but Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme and Carlisle were there waiting, like expecting me to be there. They walked into the room and I went back down to sit with Edward but I tripped and a round of giggles went through the room.

"As clumsy as always aye Bella?" Emmett chuckled. This annoyed me and the first time in my life I wanted to hurt him.

"Shut up Emmett" I growled sending him a nasty look. I got up to face him. "Don't tick me off" I said. Edward grabbed me from behind, binding my arms so I couldn't attack him. "GET OFF ME" I yelled and wiggled out from his grasp. I pushed him away from me and he went flying through to the other side of the house.


	2. Chapter 2

Esme came towards me and cupped her hands on my face. "Sweetheart, Bella calm down." Carlisle came over towards me; he took Esme's hand and injected a sedative.

That was all remember, it went dark and I was caught. When I woke up I was on Edwards's massive gold bed. This time it came in handy. Edward, I flew him into the wall. I sat up too quickly but the blood didn't rush to my head.

"Edward" I whispered, it was dark now I didn't really want to disturb everyone, they were probably all angry at me. He crawled over to me, as my eyes adjusted to the darkness. His face was black and blue from where he landed on the wall. I touched his face and he flinched, I drew back my hand.

"Sorry, I was expecting your warmth" he smiled and looked down at my hands.

"Don't you dare apologize to me, mister" I leaned over and kissed him gently, he just sat there looking at my hands. "What's wrong?" I pulled away from him confused.

"You're not you" he whispered.

"What are you talking about its me, Bella?"

"No you're not just Bella your bloodthirsty monster Bella" He paused and grabbed my shoulders, tightly. "You even scared Emmett" he continued, he stared into my eyes for a long time and it hit me I was a disgusting horrible creature.

"What?"

"You threatened Emmett and pushed me through to the other side of the house, He thought you were going to kill him" He smiled. "Oh did you know you could do that?"

"Do what?"

"Throw me through a house"

I was ashamed of what I did, could I be as terrifying as the bloodthirsty monster that Jasper and Emmett bet against each other to see how many people I stole their lives from. Slaughter them, drank and made their families suffer with grief.

"Edward, take me away from people! I want blood so much, I want blood I can't stand it I'm almost run through that door and slaughter everyone in town, Edward! Please!" I yelled jumping off the bed, pacing. He looked up at me and grabbed my arm. We raced out the door, into his car and we were on our way in four minutes. "Where are we going Edward?" I looked up and I didn't even dare to look at the speedometer.

"Anywhere away from people, that's what you wanted wasn't it?" he looked away from the road and into my eyes. "I can't remember much when I was changed, but I remember the guilt I felt when I took those people's lives. Sweetheart I don't want you to feel guilty, I want this to be the best time of our lives." He brushed my cheek and went back to looking on the road. After that it was silent for a very long time. I looked out at the rapidly changing scenery out the window; I was only the sound of Edwards phone vibrating on his chest that took me away from the window. He flipped it open on the second ring and answered.

"Alice, yes where on our way there--" he stopped and listened to what she said. He quickly stopped the car and faced me. Edward sat there motionless, stone like. He kept opening and closing his mouth like he was trying to say something, but couldn't find the right words.

"Edward what's wrong?" I asked leaning towards him, holding out my hand to him. He slowly accepted it and held it tightly, too tightly almost like he was holding me there.

"Edward!" he snapped out of his trance and ran his free hand through his hair.

"Bella" he whispered, he was sad and I could see his guilt. He wouldn't look at me. "Don't you dare leave me" grabbing both my arms. "Promise me you will not leave my side" He looked up his eyes were serious and so was his voice. I realised he was waiting for an answer and I stumbled over the words.

"Of-of- course Edward, I will never- never leave you, what is all this all about?" I asked confused. He didn't seem to hear me it was like he was listening for something else. He quickly let go of my hands and raced to the other side of the car. He was crouched down, snarling. I didn't know what was out there maybe the Volturi? Edward soon relaxed and strolled towards the other side of the car. He sat down; he hung his head down and pinched the top of his nose. He was frustrated.

"Edward" I whispered leaning towards him again cupping my hands around his face. "Tell me what is going on and what Alice told you or I will leave" I hated hurting him but it was the only way I could get the answers. He just looked up at me still frustrated, didn't say anything. "In Jesus' name Edward tell me!" I was now getting frustrated I knew Edward didn't tell me everything but I was now his wife I should know what had happened or what was going to happen.

"The Volturi returned, you..." he paused. "Murder... the Quilettes there all after you Bella, I just want to keep you safe. I want to make sure you don't get hurt but I feel like I already have, you're so just fragile" I'm fragile, I'm and evil bloodsucking vampire and I'm fragile.

"I'm fragile?" He gazed into my eyes and leaned towards me, his lips met mine. Our lips formed together it was gentle at first and then it became passionate too passionate. Edwards's hands were on my waist rubbing up and down my thigh. I pulled away for a first and he was surprised. I lifted my head up and breathed in and a beautiful breathtaking smell ran through me. There was another one, not as sweet but still lovely. Edward looked frazzled he didn't know what was going on.

"What's wrong?" I didn't look at him, I just sprung open the car door and sprinted towards the smells. Edward was one step behind me he didn't smell them, I reckon they were hikers.


	3. Chapter 3

I didn't want to chase after these people, didn't want to take their lives away. These people were just like me before I became vampire, now I was the predator and they were the prey. I quickly sprung the door and sprinted towards the smells, Edward was on step behind me he hadn't smelt them. They were only 10 kilometres away south I would just make it before Edward. My first time running was exhilarating, I hoped hunting would be just as fun. I smiled and continued running.

"Bella!" I heard Alice, was she really here. It was only a split decision. Must be less decisive, what am I thinking? This isn't me. I tried to stop myself running, but a stabbing pain ran through my head. It felt like someone had stabbed me and they were continuing to stab in the same spot. I screamed and fell to the floor. Alice found me first. She cradled into her stone hard chest and started rocking me.

"It's not me" I continued to yell two sentences. "Go with it, you want to. Trust me I know" Alice kept rubbing my back and rubbing me, but nothing helped. All I wanted was this horrible stabbing pain to disappear.

"Edward, Jasper, Emmett, Rose, Carlisle, and Esme I found her!" Alice yelled in a few more seconds everyone came, they slowly walked towards me.

"What happened?" Edward asked grabbing me from Alice.

"She kept saying 'its not me' and 'Go with it, you want to. Trust me I know'"

"What is that suppose to mean?" Edward spat at Alice. "I thought you told me she wouldn't disappear until we got to Alaska. How could you miss this?"

"It's not my fault Edward; I'm not the one who let her get out of the car?" Edward stood up and faced her.

"Well, if someone had gotten the times right I would of stopped her. You fake!" he accused.

"Yeah, but you didn't! You fricken-" She was stopped by Esme.

"Enough!" Esme yelled, jumping in the middle of them hands up to stop them.

"Thanks Alice that all you got?" Edward said smiling.

Alice jumped up ready to attack; Jasper had jumped in front of her and planted a kiss on her. She looked tense at first but then relaxed.

"What are you doing? Look at yourselves. Edward you wife can't control herself and your sister" Esme glanced towards Alice, "Needs you more than ever" Esme said returned to her husband's side. Carlisle grabbed her hand and they look up at each other encouragingly.

"You two, Esme's right. We know something isn't right and all you can do is bicker is this helping her? Look!" he said directing their focus to me. They all turned to me. I didn't know how I looked just that I was fighting my mind against the monster inside me. Edward sat down beside me and hugged me. He rubbed his hands up and down my back. It was soothing. The monster began to subside inside me and then I looked up to Edward, his eyes full of sorrow.

"Don't say you're sorry" He smiled kindly; he lifted me up and carried me to the car. The rest of the family followed not saying a thing, Edward placed me in the car and said goodbye to his family. They would be going back to forks and we were going Alaska to our new home.

Edward started to get excited as we started to slow down. We turned into a driveway, the first thing I saw was the wall of beautiful of vines running up and down the house. It was a double storey house, it was painted a pale yellow and the curtains were light blue.

We had a porch, with a seat. A shed with a lawn mower. It was perfect; it was what I dreamed of. My own Green Gables story. We had stopped beside the letterbox and Edward helped me out. He walked up to the porch and stood there looking up at our house. I started to walk but something glittering caught my eye, on the letterbox in gold letters was 'Mr and Mrs Cullen'. I was now a Cullen it hadn't sunk in until then, I was going to live with Edward forever. It brought tears to my eyes that I didn't have; Edward looked over towards me and smiled his breathtaking crooked smile.

"Bella?" he came back down the stairs and put his arm around my waist. We stood there cuddling each other, we were so happy at the moment. I felt like whatever happened I would still be happy.

"You know Bella sweetheart sometimes you kill me with you silences. Tell me what your thinks!" he demanded, nuzzling into my neck. "Or am I to dazzle you into talking" I giggled.

"I think that is a magnificent idea" He picked me up bridal style and carried me into the house, he was careful of my legs and head when we through the door. I gasped.

The inside was just as beautiful has the outside; there was floorboards all through the house. He carried me into the lounge room first; it had 2 grey recliners and a 3 seater couch. A massive T.V with a wide range of D.V.D's and C.D's. He continued to carry me into all parts of the house, the kitchen, study, laundry, backyard and the last room our bedroom. He carried me up stairs, human pace wasn't fast enough for him and he raced me up the stairs.

We walked through the door and in the middle of the room was a large black bed with a yellow cover and white pillows. It wasn't like the one in Forks it was less grand and more sweet and simple. Edward placed me on to the bed and rushed into the bathroom. He grabbed what he need and came rushing back. In his hand was a camera. He lifted it up and took a photo of me, the photo came out of the front of the camera and Edward pulled it out and shook it dry.

I was puzzled and Edward noticed.

"What's wrong? Don't you like it?" he asked in a quiet voice, his excitement had disappeared and a serious look appeared.

"You're cute when you excited" I said smiling.

"Okay, but something's wrong. Tell me"

"What happened back there?" I asked to ashamed to look into his eyes and settled playing with his hands.

"You were thirsty, love"

"I'm thirsty now" He grabbed my hand and pulled me up. "Edward what are you doing?"

"I thought it was obvious?" he asked puzzled. "Were hunting" he dashed down the stairs with me struggling to catch up. We were running through the woods and I had run into a tree before, because I was staring at Edward. He laughed and helped me up. "That's one story to tell Emmett" he laughed and I started giggling. We continued running. "I tried to make this romantic, but what's more romantic than teaching your wife to hunt?" He asked, chuckling and grinning at me.

We ran for what seemed for hours, but only 5 minutes, it was so magical letting go of everything and leaving a trail of my anxiety behind me. Edward let go of my hand and drifted away from me, he had found a mountain lion. He ran straight for it, eyes wild like the Edward I knew never existed. His eyes were wide and black, he looked unnatural. A story popped into my head it was the third wife. I had gone to a bon fire with Jacob and Billy had told us the story. I realised that Edward wasn't perfect, he scared me. Even as a human I was never afraid of him but at that moment when he raced forward, I was. He jumped on the back of the animal and snapped its neck. It was quick and I say the animals face it looked more human than Edward. Edward bought his lips to the lion's neck and licked where he was going to bite it. He bit into the neck of the lion and pleasure covered his face. It was horrible, I was disgusted by him. Would I be like that?

I quickly turned away and Edward noticed. He quickly finished draining the lion and came over to me. He touched my shoulder and grabbed my waist with his other hand.

"You don't like it, do you?" he asked, knowing the answer, but still asking for certainty. I didn't say anything I just ran ahead with Edward behind me. "Do you want to hunt?" he asked stopping me, I nodded; I needed it that's what I kept saying to myself. I didn't want it; I just needed it that's all a necessity. It was like when I was human, I need food and water to live it was just a necessity, and now blood was my only necessity besides Edward.

I quickly found the scent of a deer and chased it; Edward was beside me watching my every movement waiting to give me pointers. I dashed over, to the left side of the deer to take it by surprise. I launched my arms around its neck and then let go of my mind and let my senses run wild like before. I snapped its neck; it was the vilest sound I had ever heard. I felt like throwing up. I quickly drained the deer and quickly moved out to the next animal.


	4. Chapter 4

Edward called out saying to get a few more then we should go home. I continued to run and I stopped when I had gotten to a creek. It was small and running quickly, a tree had fallen and was lying across the creek. A grizzly bear had come to drink, it was big. Bigger than Emmett, I wondered how Emmett could get it down to the ground. I quickly dashed behind it while it was drinking. I sprang up and locked my legs around its head. It was harder to kill it than the deer, it took a little longer and I could see the pain in the bear's eyes. I felt horrible, I wanted it to be quick but I stuffed it up. It slowly fell to the ground and I sunk my teeth into its neck and the blood poured into my mouth. It was sweet, smooth and delicious. I wanted more but I had finished the bear.

My instincts were more wired than before and I could feel myself slip, Edward kept calling out to me. Telling me to go back home, I wanted the blood. I turned and ran in the opposite direction, that's when my instincts went into over drive. "Bella, Love lets go home" I could still hear him, he must be close. I let my kegs carry me north I was too tired to stop myself. It was dusk and I had arrived into a small town. I walked towards the nearest house I could find, slip in kill them then slip back out. I was about to cross the road and walk into their drive way when Edward jumped out in front of me. I reached out to him, for him to comfort me but I was pushed back. I was so tired my mind went blank but I knew my instincts were still fighting.

I woke up in our new house on the grey lounge suite couch; Edward was in the other room playing his piano. I didn't recognise the song, but it was beautiful.

I sat up and I saw him with his eyes clothes, playing. He looked so peaceful and calm. I walked over to him, I touched his shoulder. He looked up at me and on the other side of his face was a scratch it was red and healing. He was sad and he looked like he was sulking, this was supposed to be a happy time, we were on our honeymoon, we had just moved into our new home, and we are going to live together forever. He pulled me down onto the piano stool and I kissed his cheek.

"What happened? It seems I never know what's going on" I giggled.

"I don't really know what happened, you weren't yourself. The Bella I knew didn't exist" He became serious again. "The person I talked to was mean and cynical. But they did complement my butt" He grinned. "That part it sounded like you"

"Edward" I looked up at him through my eyelashes. "Why did you jump out of the car before?" I said in a baby voice, I don't think I did it as well had Edward. He sat there mouth open stunned, I pouted and he smiled.

"Isabella Marie Swan! I mean Cullen" He was sitting very close to me and he whispered in my ear. "I think you may have dazzled me, how am I suppose to answer your question when your being so sedative. It makes it impossible not to kiss you" with that our lips were locked and moving together. It was beautiful, gentle and passionate. It seemed like hours but only minutes. My hands tangled in his bronze hair. His hands on my back running up and down. We stopped; Edward had knocked over his music when he was trying to move closer to me and dove down to retrieve them. I slightly pushed away from his chest and he parted my lips and settled to my neck, small butterfly kisses ran up and down my throat then my collar bone.

"And Edward when you're doing that it's very distracting" I giggled; he continued and started nuzzling into my neck. "Tell me please" I asked. He pulled me onto his lap and I crawled into his chest.

"It was Jacob" he tried to look at my eyes but I hid in his marble chest.

"What did he want?"

"He asked if you were okay"

"What did-"He interrupted me, wanting to get this subject over and done with.

"I told him, I didn't need his help and I can take care of you myself"

"Edward, you saw Jake. He's been missing for months, where is he? Please take me there"

"Bella, I don't think-"

"I don't care; I want to see him Edward. He needs me"

"You're the reason he ran away" Edward blurted out, immediate guilt washed over him. It hurt me. He knew how hard it was for me to get over Jake. I got up and rushed towards our room. Edward lunged and grabbed my arm.

"I'm sorry, please don't-"

"Don't what Edward? Run away? Be angry?" I asked I looked at him and he was staring at me. "You know what he meant to me! I know I was the reason he left, doesn't mean you get to tell me. It took a lot to get over him, but it still broke a part of my heart. Just don't" I yanked my arm out of his grip and ran up to our room. I jumped on our bed and stared at the ceiling. "How could he!" I yelled. I heard Edward rushed up the stairs to the door.

"Bella talk to me"

"I don't want to Edward" I said as I gritted my teeth. I was mad because I knew he was right and Jake was suffering. My legs felt wobbly and I crashed to the floor. I sobbed dry less tears, Edward rushed in and hugged me. "Get off me" I yelled, Edward moved away from me crushed. "You hurt me, and then think it's okay if you get to comfort me. I don't need your help I can take care of myself" I stood up and left the room. I walked down the stairs into the lounge room. Edward had followed and sat down on the couch, he pattered a spot next to him.

"I'd prefer to stand" I said crossing my arms over my chest.

"Bella I didn't mean it" He began and I stopped him.

"Edward your right, I decide to give up Jake for you. I wasn't game enough to say it aloud and you were right. End of subject. I'm going hunting" I wasn't really thirsty but I needed an excuse to get out of the house. He nodded and I left.

I walked for a while, listening to the sounds of the night. It was beautiful and quiet, the birds were coming home to their nest and loved ones, the creek trickled down the hill. I was startled by a rustle in the bushes; at first I thought it was the wind. But the sound came closer. The wind wasn't that strong, I smelled out for any animals and a horrible smell ran through me. It smelled dead, decomposing. Maybe a dead animal that didn't survive the night. I continued to walk, I started humming and I found the creek. It was small with pebbles running along the side, a tree had fallen over and it was lying over the creek. I tried to walk across the fallen trunk, but slipped. I waited for myself to land on the rocks and become drenched but I was caught by a big fury animal. A giant bear? No it was too big to be a bear. It was one of the Quilettes. It caught me and jumped to the other side. I sat there motionless, confused. I thought the Quilettes wanted me dead? I slowly slipped of its bake and saw the same small black eyes. It was Jake.

"Jake?" I asked, I raised my hand up and he bolted the other direction. I sat on the cold floor listening to the sounds, thinking. I was thinking about Jake, and Edward. My thoughts then went to Charlie. He had died 3 weeks before my transformation, before my wedding, before my 19th birthday. Charlie had suffered from a heart condition for a few years before I had come to Forks. The doctors thought he had told us, but I never knew. He never took tablets, worked, ate healthy. I kept wondering what I could of done to save him. It was cold, and it was dark. I stood up and walked back up the trail. I didn't want to make Edward worry.

"Are you okay?" Edward ran into the foyer, when I stepped in.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?"

"Oh, good then" he turned away and went back to what he was doing. I grabbed my book and went back to our room. I read a few chapters of Midsummer Night's Dream, but soon became bored and closed my eyes.

I had started day dreaming about meeting Jake again, and what my life would have been if Edward didn't return. I imagined myself as a house wife like Emily, with a kind smile. I was happy; Jacob would come home and greet me with a kiss on the cheek. Time would slowly speed up and I grew old, I could see the glitter of grey hair. Children ran past a little boy and girl. The boy was tall and skinny like Jacob; he looked up at me with big beautiful brown eyes. He was a miniature Jacob. The girl was small and fragile with the same big brown eyes. She was paler than her brother and she was holding her hand out to me. It was so calming and happy and I could of had it all.

"Bella" Edward has knocked on the door. I glanced up to him. "Alice would like to talk to you" He opened the door and handed me the phone.

"Thanks" He turned and left. I heard him pretend to walk down the stairs. "Hold on Alice" I said into the receiver. "Edward" He poked his head in, he was smiling a devilish grin.

"Yes" I looked angry and frustrated, not wanting to talk to Alice about our next shopping trip. His smile disappeared and he left down stairs. I pulled the phone back up to my ear.

"Bella, what happened?" she yelled startling me.

"What are you talking about Alice?"

"What's going on between you and Edward?" she sound worried too.

"He said some stuff that was true and it annoyed me"

"And the reason you disappeared this afternoon?" she asked.

"I saw Jake" I said awaiting a response. We both paused and it was an awkward silence for a while. "Alice?" I asked.

"Are you going to forgive him?"

"Huh?" I was confused.

"Edward or are you going to run away with fleabag?" I flinched at the insult; I was use to Edward saying nasty words about him but not Alice.

"Alice, I would never leave Edward, I'm just annoyed"

"Give him a break; he attacked you so you wouldn't beat yourself up afterwards and now you're giving him the cold shoulder. Bella listen to me. Edward loves you and you love him. Make sure he knows you do" She finished and hung up. The words she said hit deep. I owed him so much, and I was ignoring him. More than anything I wanted to be with him at that moment. Alice had made sense he was protecting me, loving me. I ran down stairs and called out to him.

"Edward, baby where are you?" I yelled out. He didn't come. Maybe he was hunting, he won't leave me. Maybe he was just hunting. I decided to wait for him, I found out that we had Foxtel and decided to watch some of the movies. There was not much on, I moved into the kitchen and wanted to do some cleaning, but soon found out there was none. It was boring, waiting. Alice had rung at 9:00 and now it was 1:00 in the morning, I was worried. I debated whether I should go find him or not. I decided I would go and rushed down the stairs, grabbed my coat and open the door.

Edward stood there wet and shirtless. I looked down and in his arms was a small baby, the shirt and jacket was wrapped around it.

"I found her" He said passing the baby over to me. It was a little girl, she was so light. Her touched tingled me and I sighed.


End file.
